Knickers in a Twist
Photo by Asa Rodger on Unsplash
This is simply a list of things that bother me, or I don’t like.
Coffee. It smells good, but I liken the taste of it to licking the bottom of a shoe. No, I’ve never licked the bottom of a shoe, but I think that if I had it would have tasted like coffee. Yes I’ve tried good coffee, it still tastes awful.
The Windows operating system. Let me just sum it up this way - as a security professional, the Windows operating system will ensure my profession will always exist with plenty of jobs available. As a person who has tried to secure systems, defended the front lines with preventative measures, and dealt with intrusions from lame script kiddies as well as extremely sophisticated attackers, I strongly recommend not using Windows anywhere in your workplace or at home.
High school musical. If your fave music is music from when you were in high school ages ago and you think all modern music is shitty, well I hate that.
Capri pants. I mean seriously, I hate Capri pants.
School zones. I mean, I get it for really young kids but if you’re in high school, try looking up from your phone and not walk blindly into traffic. You’re old enough to know better, old enough to drive, and there’s college coming up with no school zones.
Rejection of change. This is similar to the high school fave music thing. I’ve seen supposedly “modern thinking” peers reject the cloud as a fad, reject the concept of APT, and turn their backs on basically any new trend (like cryptocurrency) they don’t understand. Oh sure, I find lots of the NFT jokes funny and all, but I don’t simply dismiss the technology outright. It could turn out to be something quite innovative and real - like the cloud and APT attacks.
Passwords. They are outdated and a weakness. I did a whole blog post about it.
Office jobs. I’ve worked remote for the past 5 jobs - since 1999! There is no way I would ever work in an office. My current employer is all remote, so that has become the new standard. If for some reason I ever change jobs again, it will be all remote or remote-first. Working in an office sucks.
Strawberries. Eww.
Text editors that aren’t vi. I don’t have to explain this, you get it.
Not practicing what you preach. Let’s say you’re a security person who goes to DEF CON. Do you say things like “only bring a burner phone and don’t bring a laptop because h4x0rz” yet you talk about securing things on the Internet and even do it for a living? Shouldn’t you know how to secure your own shit? Do you take your regular phone and laptop to other cons, work-related travel, or even vacation? The ONLY exception for this is you’ve elected to travel light so you’re traveling to DEF CON sans laptop for “ease of bar hopping” or because you plan on spending most of the con poolside with friends. I’ve done that myself (usually on vacation). But if you can’t secure a laptop or phone for DEF CON attendance, maybe drink less, attend a lot of talks and visit villages, and fucking learn how to secure your shit.
Prejudice. I’ve seen it my whole career, and at my previous two jobs I directly experienced it as I am an older person. Truthfully I cannot complain too much as I am male and I am white, so I haven't faced nearly as much adversity, but my entire career I've witnessed it against others. I think the worse example I ever saw was in the 90s when I worked with a team of IT technicians and as a team lead I regularly assigned work out. There was for some reason an appetite for complex problems as it meant one was not stuck doing relatively quick and simple (but dull) tasks. A couple of the guys it the group couldn't understand why I assigned some of the complex stuff to a particular colleague of theirs, because as one of them said "she has two strikes against her." Those two strikes were apparently being female and being African American. I pointed out that she got the work done correctly in a timely fashion without complaining about the work or her prejudice co-workers and that was why she got assigned her fair share of complex tasks, and they shut up. There was no process at that employer at that time to report this to HR, so yes, overall things today are much better culturally, but there is always room for improvement.
Cassandra of the Internet. There is knowing you’re right and others acknowledge it, and there is knowing you’re right and no one believes you until you’re in an undeniable position of “I told you so.” Most of the time I’m in the latter, and despite being proven right numerous times there is repeated reluctance to believe me. And no, there is no satisfaction in saying “I told you so” for the hundredth time in a row. Just sadness. Trust me, I’m right on this, and after you personally experience your own hundredth time, you will self-reflect and state “wow, he did tell me so, I get it now.” So again, I told you so.
This list grows and grows the more I think about it, maybe I’ll do another one at some point. But if you ever see me staring like sad puppy at the world, one of the above might be the reason why.
